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In the future…
If Ava was to live….
In the future…
Let me just cry forever.
In which Angie goes a little ballistic and out of time order.
iPod on shuffle. This is what came up. (Warning: ANGST. And Ava constantly hitting Caden and other stuff goes on.)
Tears everywhere
Just read it.
She doesn’t know how long she’s been asleep and it takes her a few seconds to take in her surroundings. “You tried to leave camp, bitch. I told you it wasn’t that easy.” The voice starts booming through the car and she’s still too scared to move an inch. Where’s Caden? It takes her until now to realize that he’s not in the car anymore. “He left you. He doesn’t need some psychopath attempting to love him.” A single tear rolls down her cheek. “Go away. Please, just leave me alone.” she whispers, huddling as close as her body will allow her.
Is she even awake? She can’t be. How else was it possible to hear another voice when she was the only one in the car. It wasn’t making any sense. “Caden.” she tries to say. Ava can’t hear her voice though. She’s opening her mouth, attempting to speak but there isn’t any sound coming out.
A sharp pain in her stomach begins, growing until her whole body is in pain. And just like that, it’s gone. It didn’t last longer than a few seconds, fifteen tops but she still can’t calm down knowing that. There was no logical way to explain. Lately, nothing had a definite answer.
Ava closes her eyes, thinking that if she goes back to ‘sleep’ that everything would be fine. It’d be the only way to be back to normal, right? She takes a deep breath, is this actually working? “You can’t get rid of me.”
Suddenly, a tingling sensation starts in her legs and Ava responds by scratching them, hoping to relieve them but the exact opposite starts. The sensation takes over the rest of her body. She doesn’t remember when her nails had gotten so sharp but the more she scratched the easier she tore skin. Red started seeping through the small cuts, the color mesmerizing her.
“Why won’t you leave me alone? Please, go away. Just go away and let me have my life back. Please.” she begs to someone that isn’t even there. With those words being said the pain starts to get worse. it was as if a million tiny little bugs were now crawling over her, biting into her skin, pricking it over and over again. Ava starts screaming and she’s surprised how her shrieks can pierce the air.
“If I leave, so do you.”
She grasps her cup of coffee, taking in the warmth of the liquid. It’s almost calming but not enough. A silence had taken over the two. She just didn’t have anything else to say. At least not anything that wouldn’t turn this certain moment even more awkward than it was already. This could be the last time she sees him though. This would be her only chance if something were to ever happen to either of them. “Do you think we could’ve made it? Like, honestly?” she asks. Ava doesn’t want to get her hopes up, so she expects the worse obviously. It wasn’t worth the heartache. Not anymore. At least that was what she kept telling herself. Caden shifts in his seat, not expecting that question to come up. He’s always cared about her. He still does, but he doesn’t want to hurt her. She’s been through so much and he feels like it’s his fault even though it’s not. “Honestly? I think we could have.” he replies.
Her eyes meet his, a small frown on her lips. It didn’t work. It could never work. Ava didn’t want him to be unhappy and a majority of the time she blamed herself for that. All the stress and pain that she had put him through. It wasn’t fair. He was better off this way. “Why didn’t we?” she pries. She wants to know where she went wrong. Where they had gone wrong. Caden just wants to hold her, kiss her and tell her that everything is okay. He can tell she’s having an inner hate discussion and he hols back a laugh, knowing that she hasn’t changed at all. She’s still his BB, and not even time can change that. “Because we didn’t try hard enough.” he answers her question. Not sure if the answer hurts him more than he thinks.
“I’m sorry.” she looks away, pretending that her attention is now on a loose thread of her sweater. She still remembers when she got it. It was his. From the day at the lake. Even after several months of washes, Ava swore that it still smelled like him. His scent was soothing and reminded her of a time that was a bit better than the present. Caden reaches across the small table and takes her hand in his, bringing it near him and kisses it like he always used to. “Don’t be.”
